monthly roundup: february 2022

Our family makes a big deal out of Valentine’s Day.

Wait. Before you roll your eyes, let me explain.

Stephen and I never thought much of the holiday, riding along in the boat of people who considered it overblown and unnecessary. You can tell me you love me any day. Please don’t waste money on flowers and chocolates.

But then, when Charlotte was four-years-old, she declared it her favorite holiday. That’s right. Favorite holiday. Flying right past Christmas, her birthday, even Halloween. Personally, I would have given 4th of July a second glance before landing on Valentine’s Day, but she said it, she meant it, and she is sticking to it.

The creative in her nearly exploded when she found out she could make personalized valentines for each child in her preschool class. To her utter horror, I brought her to Target where she stared in bewilderment at all the premade, fill-in-blank valentine options.

“So all you do is fill in the names? Why would anyone want that? It’s so boring.” Little four-year-old Charlotte and I left Target that day with no valentines, but at least $25 worth of stickers, glitter, candy, paper, and heart-shaped doilies.

“So what do we do at home to celebrate Valentine’s Day?” she asked.

Oh geez. At home? “Oh…well…we…have a special family Valentine’s dinner.”

“Really?!?” Her eyes grew wider by the second. “What’s special about it?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” I smiled and mentally rearranged my week to be sure I could get to Hobby Lobby and hopefully snag some 50% off decorations.

By the time Charlotte was home from preschool on Valentine’s Day, I had snazzed up the table with a red tablecloth and any pink or red trinket I could find. To my great fortune, it was everything she dreamed it would be.

And here I am. Five years later. Beginning our Valentine’s Day preparations in mid-January. I haul up an actual Valentine's Day tub from the basement and help the darlings make oh-so-very-personalized valentines for each friend. We buy flowers for teachers because teachers are the most loved. I still throw down a cheap plastic tablecloth and decorate the table with gaudy goodies we’ve collected over the years. I string heart garland from the ceiling and an L-O-V-E banner across the mirror. I make Penne Vodka because pasta is its own love language, and I melt chocolate in the microwave and call it fondue because that feels fancy. Stephen and I give the kids the same gift every year—a coupon for a donut date with dad and a bookstore date with mom. I also keep refilling the same Valentine’s Day Pez dispensers I bought a few years ago. There are no surprises because my mental energy is still recovering from all the surprises of Christmas. After dinner, the kids sprawl out the loot from their school parties, inhaling chalky candy hearts and helping each other hold wet towels over temporary heart tattoos. They read each valentine, and Charlotte extends grace to all the children who use those “boring” valentines.

Valentine’s Day gets a bad rap, and I get it. My palms still start to itch when I think of those Candygrams the student council sold in junior high, forcing every awkward preteen to wonder if somebody, anybody, spent the 50 cents to save them from the horror of being left Candygramless on February 14. It's a rough holiday.

But when grown-up Joy explains in preschool terms that Valentine's Day is a day to show our love to the people we care about, well, it doesn’t sound so bad. There will come a day when my Pez dispensers and fancy red cloth napkins won’t elicit the same dazzling response, so for now, I’ll take any reason to gather my team around a table and say I love you.

Reading

This was one of the most intriguing books I have ever read, unsettling and provocative in all the best ways. I was immediately drawn into the story and read the first 200 pages in a day or two. Unfortunately, the middle of the book really dragged on for me. I felt like there were many short chapters that didn't add to the plot or move the story along which is why I gave it 4 stars. I was very curious to see how such a twisted story would wrap up and was surprisingly satisfied by the ending. This was a great read!

I don't normally give books in this genre a 5 star rating, but today, I'm going for it. I really loved this one, even more so the The Friend Zone, #1. It was one of those books that when I wasn't reading it, I kept thinking about the characters and wondering what they were doing and if they were ok. (Am I the only one who does that?) I sped through it in 2 days and neglected house work because I was enjoying it so much. I also thought the playlist was a clever idea and have been listening to it on Spotify.

I haven’t read these book since they first came out, and it is so fun rereading them alongside Charlotte!

My three star rating is solely a reflection on my indifference toward poetry. I wanted to expand outside of my typical reading genres and try something I wouldn't normally pick up. I enjoyed the book, but poetry just isn't my favorite.

Sarah Bessey continues to be one of my favorite writers. This book of prayers was challenging and inspiring, helping me rethink prayer in its most honest and raw form. Some of the prayers I've already gone back to over and over include Finding Rest, A Prayer for the Tired, Angry Ones, A Prayer for When You Don't Even Know What You Want, and A Prayer to Learn to Love the World Again.

Reading With The Darlings

I was probably in 4th grade the last time I read this book, and I’m so glad it was still as delightful as I remember. I also remember gathering around the book with my friends to find the swear words, but these are easy to skip over when reading aloud. We switched back and forth between the hard copy and audio version with this one, listening to quite a bit of it in the school drop off line.

We all enjoyed this beautifully illustrated picture book that left us wondering—Was that a dream? Did it really happen? The subtle messages about growing up and becoming independent were lost of my kids, but they loved the sense of adventure and imagination in this story.

Listening To

This conversation between Carlos Whittake and Derek Webb was excellent. There are a lot of people talking about deconstructing their faith, particularly those who grew up in Evangelical churches, youth groups, and Christian colleges. This conversation between disagreeing friends was covered in respect, humor, and thoughtful language. Many conversations around deconstruction leave me feeling cynical, but this left me hopeful and wanting to listen one more time.

I’ll be following the She Reads Truth Lent reading plan this year, and this podcast kicked off the seven-week study.

Making Me Smile

Because Christmas and New Year’s was such a mess for us, I threw most of my Christmas gifts into the closet and forgot about them, and then more gifts came my way in January for my birthday. February was my chance to finally enjoy some of those gifts! I am loving these shoe, this teeth whitening set, this lipstick , this coziness from Athleta (on sale!), and these reusable paper towels. And yes, I asked for reusable paper towels for Christmas. Cheers to being middle-aged.

Some family moments that made me smile include old-man Andrew for his 100th day of school…

Seeing our Bengals in the Super Bowl, even if it was a disappointing loss…

Charlotte ordering a London Fog on our brunch date…

and still wearing her Cinderella dress in public. It was Cinderella the Ballet so it worked, but I can probably use one hand to count the number of times left that she will play dress up.